i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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