when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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