my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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