dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
