i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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