At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
