ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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