Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
