Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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