I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
one might say we're banned from that church
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
3 2 1 whiskey
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
