problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
