hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Randomize
