he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
