I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
