I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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