: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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