No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
