Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
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