VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
