his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
