White coat. Heels.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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