I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We got so high we made milksteak
why do cheetos always look like penises
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
