ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
