haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
