ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
she smelled like a LAN party
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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