We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
