I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
