Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
