Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
do nipples grow back?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
