bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
