whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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