I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
