The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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