Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
