This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
