She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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