I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
