Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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