after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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