Define "chronic" masturbator.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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