she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
