i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
