Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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