And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
