why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
