i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
