i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
