SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
