I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
