wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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