dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
