did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
