i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
