just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
