meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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